What's Keeping You?

Thank you for all the nice comments on Kayla’s writing; the privates one and the ones written on here.  Yolanda, I will answer your question when I get back.  I am on my way to my prayer group.

I have mentioned before that my beloved and I are part of a small(20 people or so) group Bible study at our church.  We are broken up into about 3 or 4 tables, depending on who shows up.  Yesterday at the end of the study the pastor asked us to go around the table, if we were brave enough, and share what is keeping us from having a personal daily relationship with the Lord.  If we do have an ongoing relationship with the Lord, what is keeping us from drawing closer to Him. 

So I wanted to pass this along and pose the question to you. ;0)  What is keeping you from having a relationship with the Lord?  I feel like I do have a relationship with Him, however, I knew pretty fast what I thought might be keeping me from drawing even closer to Him. 

Just yesterday morning my beloved and I were having our personal worship, so it was still very fresh in my mind.  Just as I was finishing up with my worship, I closed my Bible kind of flustered.  I said, “I don’t get it.”  I  really enjoy reading about David.  He seems so honest in his writings.  In the psalms he really wore his heart on his sleeve.  He was gut wrenchingly honest.  Sometimes he would start a psalm asking God to rip his enemy to shreds, or how scared or heartbroken he was, and then at the end it seems he always praised the Lord.  However, we all know some of the things David was responsible for; adultery and murder just to name a few.  ;0) So what flustered me you ask? 

I had started to read Psalm 26.  The first verse starts off with “Vindicate me, O Lord, for I have led a blameless life.”  I closed my Bible and asked my beloved, “how can he say that?”  Blameless?? 

 Yes, I know the answer.  We are made perfect before God due to Jesus’ blood that was shed on the cross.  We are seen as blameless to Him.  I, however, have a hard time feeling that way.  I believe it because the Bible says it,  Intellectually, I know it.  And yes, I know I shouldn’t go by feelings……but.  

All the verses that mention man being righteous, astound me.

For instance, Psalm 34:29 says, A righteous man may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all.  If I am going through a trial and I read that, I think, “oh, the Lord won’t deliver me from my troubles, because I am not righteous.”  Does that make sense?  Well, I am not looking to get scolded for this way of thinking, as I know I am wrong, I am just saying how I feel.  It takes an incredible effort on my part to think that the Lord looks at me as being righteous.  After all, he calls David a man after His own heart, and look at all the things David did.

So there you have it, that is what I feel keeps me from drawing even closer to the Lord.  I think I am a legalist.  I want to do things.   It’s hard to think that salvation is just a gift.  A free gift!!

The second part of the pastor’s question was, “and what can you do to fix that?”  I am still thinking about that.  The only thing I can do is to continue to read and claim so many of the promises that He gives us.

Feel free to share what is keeping you from having a relationship with the Lord?  Or a closer relationship with Him….if you’re brave. Lol ;0)  Na, I don’t need to know.  You can keep it to yourself, but I thought it was something good to contemplate.  

Feel free to share if you want me to pray for you.

Kayla's Writings Part 2

I'm happy I answered yesterday's call to cuddle. ;0)

Since the writing of my last post, I spoke to my beloved and asked him what her assignment was.  He wanted to stretch her a little, so he asked her to write the story of David and Goliath. He wanted it from the perspective of someone in the Israelite camp and someone from the Philistine camp. He also wanted something from the perspective of the stone; how did it get selected, how did it get to be where it was.


I typed up snippets from her story. I left out chunks.   What I did was that each little snippet is in a different color, so that you know it's not a continuation of the previous section. If anyone wants to read the entire thing, let me know and I will send it to you.  The rest of my post is at the bottom, in black. 
I typed it just like she wrote it.  The court reporter in me wants to start editing some of the punctuation, etc.  I figured I could use her story as an English lesson and correct some things with her as a lesson.  ;0)


My appearance as I stumbled out into the open was far from respectable.  The king's armor was at least three sizes too big for me.  I doubt that even Eliab would've fit into it.  The tunic trailed along the ground ungracefully, while the greaves were so big that they clanked against my feet as I walked.

The helmet came over my eyes for a second, and I was only saved from being completely sprawled out on the floor by quickly plunging the sword into the ground and grabbing hold of the hilt to steady myself.  As I did so, the weight of the breastplate made me lurch forward, coming just inches away from the face of one of the bodyguards.

Abner turned to King Saul and said very seriously, "you know, sir, perhaps you could have him trained as a dancer in your court.  The grace, the agility, it's all there."

King Saul nodded, "undoubtedly.  But after he cuts off the giant's head of course."

How does it fit, boy?"

"I'm sorry your Majesty, but I can't go in these things,"  I replied, "I'm not used to them.  I know the Lord can use me just as well in a shepherd's sack as in a king's armor."

Quickly I began to gather a few more stones; they needed to be small enough to fit comfortably in the sling, yet large enough for the impact of the blow to cause some damage.  They also needed to be smooth so that no rough edges would catch on the thin leather of the sling, and also sail quickly to its target. This is what I was dong as I sat by the bank, running my hands along the bottom.  I already had four, and I needed just one more to fill my little pouch; and I needed it fast!  A few of the Israelites soldiers were already beginning to arrive and gather on their side of the ridge, waiting for me to come, evidently word had gotten out fast!

I got up and walked once more along the edge, no, there weren't anymore that met the immediate qualifications...except a small, squarish-looking stone that had caught my eye a few times.  

I picked it up and looked it over; it was definitely too small to be any good, but it was still rather interesting, being nearly completely black in color and having a burnt, scarred appearance.  I popped it in my pouch anyway, it wouldn't be any use of course, but still might be nice to have.

Slowly, almost casually I switched the staff frommy left hand to my right, at the same time taking out my sling and holding it lax at my side.

He immediately noticed the staff, what  Do you come at me as to a dog, to drive it way with a stick.

Cursed be Israel and it's god; and may the gods Dagon and Rimmon set their mark upon you, that you shall fall by the sword--"

Here I interrupted, unable to listen any longer to his blasphemous words, " You come at me with your useless swords, spears, and javelins, but I come at you by the command and through the name of the very God you have so defied.

And He shall strike you down in the sight of all Israel, and I shall chop off your head, and feed your body to the birds, and beasts alike.

Then all the world shall know that the Lord God reigns!"

Goliath threw back his head and laughed, a vulgar, harsh, laugh that grated on my ears as he bellowed out, "so be it."

That's when I noticed it, the rough, hasty jerk he'd given his head, the helmet dislodged itself and shifted slightly, exposing a square inch of flesh on the forehead.

I kept my eye on the target and breathing a quick prayer for guidance from Yahweh, I took a stone from my pouch and placed it hastily in the sling.

The stone shot out......  That's where she left it. lol 

We talked with her after we read her story, and she told us that she wanted to continue with David going to cut Goliath's head off.  When he goes to cut it off, he realizes that the stone that's embedded in his forehead, is the burnt stone that she mentioned above. She was thinking that the stone could have come from when Joshua erected an alter and offered a burnt sacrifice to the Lord.  She said Joshua had made the alter near Kidron Valley, which was near where David and Goliath's story took place.  When I looked back at her story, sure enough she mentioned that the stone was black, and looked burned. So she pretty much set up the portion that would open up the door to tell the story from the perspective from the stone.  

I asked her what she thought about writing this story, compared to what she normally writes, and she said she felt constrained.  She felt like she couldn't let her mind just go because she was forced to stay within the confines of certain facts.  She said she's sorry that she looked at it like an assignment.  She said had she not, she may have enjoyed it more.  She still has to write from the Philistine's camp, and from the stone, so we'll see.  I know my beloved and I are looking forward to reading it.

I really want to encourage her.  She just recently turned 13, and I know she still has a lot to learn about writing.  I would love for her to use her writing for the Lord.  I'm looking for ideas on how to challenge her and help her to come up higher.

Kayla's Writings Part 1

All of my free time got consumed schooling the children.  The nerve!!  lol ;0)

 Kayla had a bit of a hard time with math.  We were solving for an unknown with multiplicative and additive inverses.  It's amazing how I forgot how to do it.  I had to jog my memory and do a quick review on my own before explaining it to her. lol  It didn't help her to see that I had to review it, because it just solidified her theory on "why do we have to do this anyway, if I probably won't have to use it in real life."  Thankfully after a few examples, it clicked.

I think the Lord has given Kayla an incredible gift of writing.  She doesn't think so, but I think she's just her worse critic.  She has been writing little stories here and there since she was about 6.  We always laugh because one of her first stories always stood out to us, as there was a sentence that had a little girl falling.
*Hold on, my beloved is calling me.  Okay, I'm back.  My beloved is upstairs.  He wanted me to go up so we can cuddle.  While on the phone I mentioned to him, "do you remember Kayla's first story?"   He burst out laughing, and could hardly get the words out, "crash, boom, bang."*

So back to my thought.  In the story there was a little girl that was walking across her room during a blackout. (We had recently gone through a hurricane, so blackouts were fresh on her mind then. Anyway, in the story the little girl fell, and she went, "crash, boom, bang" onto the floor. lol

 She has always cringed when given a writing assignment for school.  However, if I don't give her an assignment, she will write on her own for hours.  We finally "got tough" HA! and my beloved gave her an assignment.  I don't remember what the specifics of the exact assignment were, as I know they went back and forth on it for a bit.  The main plot was that it had to do with David.    

I am off to go cuddle with my beloved for a little bit. lol  I will finish the rest of the post as soon as cuddling time is over. ;0)

Cabin Fever

For those of you on Facebook with me, sorry for the repeat. ;0)  I think the boys, including my beloved, have a little bit of cabin fever.  This is their first "winter."  Last year while we were in Idaho, we escaped the cold weather because we ended up going to Florida for those three months.

However the other day I was folding laundry and I came down the stairs with the camera, as I knew something "different" was going on.  Thinking I would see the children, this was the first person I encountered.  lol  The leader of them all.  Mind you, he was on his way out for a meeting, hence the dress clothes.

They were all involved.

Thankfully it turned into a bunt, and not a full out swing.  Although we did have some full swings throughout the game. ;0)

What indoor activities do you all do with active boys during the cold months?  Help.....


I will try to post later on tonight while my beloved is out playing basketball.

He Does Know How I Feel!!

Isaiah 63:9  "In all their distress, He too was distressed..."

I have been thinking about this verse lately.  It impacted me last year, and has come up recently again.

This evening I went to my Women's Ministry Prayer group.  Well, I don't know if you can call it a group. It's only the ministry leader and me. lol ;0)  She's using the prayer journal I made her.  YAY!!  She said I should market it. lol  Anyway, back to my point.  She was reading a book on what happens when women pray.  We followed one of the suggestions, which was to stop and pray throughout, instead of at the end.  So once we discussed something or someone, we would stop and pray.   I thought it worked out really good.  It was better than just talking, talking, talking, and then at the end praying.  It felt good to be able to pray throughout the entire time.  You'd be surprised by how quickly time passes.  Before we knew it, we were there for two hours. ;0) YIKES!!

Anyway,  one of the verses that has been on my mind lately is Isaiah 63:9.  I ended up sharing it today during prayer time.  It's sad, but comforting to know that Christ is distressed when I am distressed.  When I am in pain, He's in pain.  Sometimes we go through trials and think, "oh, He never went through this," or, "He doesn't know what this pain feels like." Oh, but He does.

When I think of this verse, I almost feel like a little pawn.  For all of you mother's you can probably relate.  The best way to get to me or to hurt me, is to hurt my children.  If someone did something to my children, that would be one sure way to bring me down into the pit of pain, despair and agony.  You know what, it's the same exact way with Jesus.  Satan knows that by tempting us, hurting us, etc.  he is in turn, hurting Christ.  When you think of it like that, it makes you want to shine for Christ when the enemy attacks.  I know it makes me want to somehow bring Him glory and honor through any and every trial that comes my way.  Satan could care less about us, his main goal is to hurt our Heavenly Father.

So here's to bringing Him glory and honor through EVERYTHING!!  

Piano Lessons

It feels so nice to be connected to everyone again. ;0)  It's kind of scary to realize how dependent I am on the internet.
I hope everyone is doing well.  I am surviving....catching up on laundry.  I'm not sure how I got so behind.  In order to stay caught up I need to do one load a day.  I don't know what happened, but I have about 4 loads of laundry that need to go through the cycle of wash/dry/fold/put away.  I'm not complaining.  I'm happy to have a washer and dryer.  It's little things that I keep looking at, wondering if I will have them when we move to the mission field.  We won't have a dishwasher...we will have 5 dishwashers. lol  Sorry, I couldn't help it. Corny, I know.  I guess we will just have to all pitch in and wash everything by hand.  Not  big deal.  I find the kitchen stays neater when I wash dishes by hand anyway.  You can tell when I am home alone(children are sleeping) and my beloved is out, because I tend to be very chatty. ;0)
I hope you don't mind the chattiness.

The house we are renting has a beautiful piano.  I know I have expressed how I have always dreamed about playing the piano since I was little.  I would love to take lessons, but I don't know how I would be able to squeeze it into our schedule.  I think what makes it harder is having to drive somewhere, and the amount of time it would take for a few of us to take lessons, etc.   Anyway, Micah has a desire to learn as well.  Does anyone know of a child friendly program that I can use for him?  I am debating whether to start him on lessons now, or just wait until we move.  I do have a keyboard that I would like to take with us, and hopefully be able to use to take lessons over there.


Excuse my beloved there.  He does have an office in the house....I'm not sure how he works amidst the noise  music . ;0)

I recently purchased a homeschool edition of Learn & Master Piano.  It has enough DVD's for supposedly 2 years worth of lessons.  I am only up to Lesson 1, and I already learned about chords, which is so exciting.  It makes you feel like you are actually playing the piano, even though it's only a couple of chords. lol ;0)  It's good like for Kayla and I, but too much for Micah.

 I would like to at least start teaching Micah the notes on the staff, etc.  However, I am not sure if I would cause him more confusion or not.

I also purchased the Guitar version of the program above for my beloved.  I wouldn't mind learning the guitar as well.    I don't know if I am putting off the inevitable.   If not I will have to bite the bullet and make time in our schedules to drive somewhere to take lessons.
Any advice from you experienced piano players?

Hellllooooo!!!!

Just stopping by to say hello.  It turns out there was something wrong with the internet card itself.  They sent me out a replacement card today, and it will take 1 to 2 business days.  Miss you all.  My beloved is on his way out to a meeting with his boss who just flew in, and then he has his Monday night basketball game. ;0)  So depending on the time, I will just try to post from his laptop.   If not, see you in one to two business days. ;0)